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Post date: Mar 21, 2017 3:15:30 PM
" I have just retired from the work force last year. I thought I would have time to get down to what I had wanted to do upon retirement. The maid who took care of my special needs child-like adult daughter had gone home after working for us for 5 years.
My daughter had maids all her life. As she had fever and fits from the age of 2, she could not attend normal school. She was used to being pampered and having her needs met.
All went well initially until my daughter began to resent having to learn to cope on her own. She probably felt that I had sent her maid away and started to throw tantrums. She was struggling with the authority at home which happened to me mostly since I am more home-based now.
It was like a power struggle at home. At times she physically challenged the father and brother to fights. She could not accept the changing circumstances especially when she could not get her way. One of which being choice and frequency of food since she was very over weight and doctors have been admonishing us over her obesity.
At times when the father or brother could not calm her down due to some unmet needs of hers and she had become very aggressive, they had to physically restraint her by the only thing men know... i.e. by hitting her hard. That made me upset and her too because she became more emotionally unstable. Ironically, it could have been her way of getting the wrong kind of attention.
After the fights, she would cry and become emotionally upset and I had to deal with all the show down...it slowly began to wear me out. At wits' end, I decided to find a way to prevent her from being at the mercy of the strong men in the house. Which means I had to learn to stop her from hitting out at others just because she wanted things in her own way.
I began to search and came upon Aikido self-defence and the name of Mr. Pang. Without hesitation, I wrote to Mr. Pang via his email and explained to him the situation. I did not know him but really hoped he would help me.
What a surprise it was when he phoned me to enquire further. I was so happy to have someone made himself available to help me out of my distress. After all he does not even know me yet; he was like a knight in shining armour.
Mr. Pang made his lessons interesting and easy to follow. He also adapted a few moves to suit my senior age as I had been mentally exhausted for months.
With the tactics he taught me patiently, I began to feel more calm and confident when I had to handle unpleasant situations. I no longer panicked and made distress statements when my daughter turned aggressive at being offended for some unknown reason. When she knew she could not out-manoeuvre mummy anymore, she learnt to stop trying the aggressive moves which she could have learnt from watching too much TV drama in the past.
With that I became confident again and was able to take her out on her favourite outings and joy-ride without fear of her trying to blackmail me in public especially, through her physical scare tactics.
Things are much calmer at home as my daughter no longer try to physically challenge us anymore and more things could be done in a better home environment. Relationships have also improved with less flare-up and harmony is more prevalent at home now. Although from time to time she slips back into her tantrum-like pattern, it does not get out of hand as I am better able to manage her.
The lessons, tactics and skills I learnt at self-defence sessions with Mr. Pang have fulfilled their objectives. It was worth my time spent and I have no regrets whatsoever. I only wished I could have learnt it earlier. It is never too late to start.
Aikido is gentle yet effective even for a senior citizen like me. Many thanks to Mr. Pang for his clear and all-rounded explanations to back up his applicable lessons. "
L. Chu & JM Pang
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